In the Beginning/Soul

The human soul is the most sensitive center of consciousness, the feminine center in both men and women.  A feeling center, residing in the area of the heart, she is the love center, and love is all that part of you really cares about.  She is surrounded by a dark veil of pain, sorrow.  It causes her to feel an intense isolation, and loneliness.  In her innocence she wonders what she ever did to deserve such torment, and the gurus of the day supply her with answers ranging from original sin, to abusive parents.  In her innocence she believes the self-appointed purveyors of wisdom, but to no avail.  She tries to be “good” but falls into sin again and again.  She tries to create perfect relationships, free of the abuse she has suffered and fails, again and again.  And through it all, the pain whispers to her that it is her fault, she deserves to be punished.  In her perfect innocence she believes it.

     The human soul, being a feminine center, is not subject to logic, and anyone who has tried to help a soul lost in the pain veil, lost in depression, knows the futility of logic.  For the soul’s reality is how life “feels”, and logic cannot change a feeling, and what the sensitive soul of perfect love is feeling is a dark wall, a dark embrace of pain.  She’s not feeling, sensing, the reality around her, but the veil of insensitivity enveloping her.  She does not hear the words of those around her, for she is too captivated by the seductive, familiar, dark words encoded in the ego veil of pain.  You can tell the soul she is beautiful (and she is), but she will be listening to the pain telling her how ugly she is, a message more familiar, and more believable, because it’s how she feels as she embraces the ugliness that is the ego veil of pain.  A perfect soul of love becomes the darkness of the pain, and as her love connects her to the veil, she is unwittingly nourishing and sustaining the pain.  The human soul of perfect love is having a love affair with the pain.  A lover so ancient, so familiar, that no lover in the world can compete with it.  Those of you who have loved, experienced the radiance of your soul’s light moving into the world, will also know the pull of the pain, the whisperings of the pain as it inexorably draws the soul back into it’s dark embrace.  The pain will blame the soul for the death of love, and in her innocence she will believe it.  But the only enemy of love, what is really destroying all souls’ attempts at love, is the very ego pain which claims to protect her from “being hurt”.  The pain veil is the only hurt the soul has known, and when it is finally dissolved, she will hurt no more.  Her greatest treasure, her love, is restored to her, and wherever she bestows it, it is a blessing, whatever she connects to, she nourishes.  She realizes that what she so desperately sought in the world she already was.  She was not corrupt, but innocently lost in the ego corruption that was the veil of pain.